Why do depressed people seek out violent and aggressive online images and videos?
I’ve lived with serious depression for over 35 years. One behavior that always shocks is my desire for crime scene photos, true crime and violent behaviors that get prosecuted. When I’m not depressed, my desire for this content goes way down. For some people this manifests as more violent video games or porn.
NO ONE WANTS TO TALK ABOUT THIS SIDE OF MENTAL ILLNESS…
.. but it’s incredibly normal and my coaching clients tell me stories of how it affects the entire family.
90% of the clients I work with experience a form of violence with a loved one.
Here is an excerpt from a book I’m writing for Penguin about depression and social media. I am not going to use this section exactly in the book, but thought you might like to see it.
My Online Life When Depressed
I look at the most horrible images on my phone. Videos of arrests and fires, dangerous situations and people who have less than I do. I get outraged and then upset and then more depressed………….. but it feels good in the moment. It’s sick.
- Depression wants a friend to commiserate with!
- Depression seeks content that matches my brain chemicals.
I like shows where killers get caught and get the death penalty. I shout at the screen when people stay in abused situations and I call them, “Stupid morons!”
The pain of others that would normally create empathy or sadness in my brain instead creates a self righteous satisfaction that bad people get what they deserve and stupid people deserve punishment too!
Imagine the destruction this creates if a person is not aware that the depression is causing the change in behavior.
When I’m depressed, I have to remind myself that the depressed part of me will SEEK out what makes me more depressed. It’s sick and twisted, but it’s very real. I then talk to myself and stop the behavior so that I can end the depression instead of feeding it with horrific online content.
As a parent, you first have to know the signs of a child’s depression. You can use my books to make symptom lists. I highly recommend using your Health Cards each time you see the depression starting. (They will be back online for purchase soon! Promise!)
Then, use the ideas in Loving and Take Charge to avoid The Bipolar Conversation.
And finally, focus on depression management all day long when a loved one is depressed. Depression leads to the online behavior- only addressing the behavior never works:
- Why do you want to look at such terrible things Julie!
- What is wrong with you Julie!
This way of talking only drives the person with depression deeper into the violent thinking and scrolling.
Here is how I talk to myself when I finally realize my negative mood is affecting what I seek online:
Ah, Julie. The serial killer, British true crime detective shows, Murderpedia and crime scene photos are here again. The depression is raging. Let’s focus on the depression and get you out of the this cycle. Let’s fill your brain with something positive. Turn it off. Turn on Parks and Recreation or a Disney Movie. I want the depression to end. Help me help you.
(I really do talk to myself this way!)
Get it Done When You’re Depressed is a constant companion when my angry, murder scrolling gets out of hand. This is the book to get if you want to help someone manage depression.
Julie
